Im back.Wow.Its been quite some time already.And I just miss blogging.
Alrights.Many-Many thanks to Yiru.
Actually,to Grace too.But its just that things didn't went smoothly went i logged in.
So yea.Well,i'll be posting again.Like;EVERYDAY.Without fail.Geez.Its just for the memories though.Although im busy,i'll still make time to post.Because i know i have viewers out there.
Well,life still goes on smoothly though.Except for some ups&downs.I have been going out.Chilling from dawn to dusk.I figured out that night-life was the best for me.Except that,if i hang out with the wrong company.But i still had fun though.
I miss school.I miss my friends.They are like my everything.Holidays are pretty boring but still i manage to enjoy.Well,i haven't made plans yet to meet up with my school pals.I know;Pathetic.
Actually,im kinda upset.Because i had alot of stuffs to blog about.But too bad,it'll just remain as memories inside me.Hopefully,there'll be new and better things to start blogging from now on.
A sad post:
I LOST SOMEONE I LOVE.
He left me.I couldn't blame him.The mistake i had done to him,was unforgivable.Yes,i agree.Sunday;18November2007.It was early in the morning,around 7:15am.I went to lakeside.Although i was feeling tired after i 'ton' on saturday night,i still rushed to lakeside.To meet him;Darul.Well,because i broke my promise to him.So then,we had a long conversation.We were chatting and suddenly,i had this strong guilt inside me.It was telling me that i should let out my mistake on what i had done on sunday morning,5:00am.Dilemma.I knew that if i told him the truth,i would lose him.Because it was part of my another promise,and i somehow broke it.I didn't mean to break it.But would he understand?I do not think so.So i was 'beating around the bush'.And he asked me to just let it all out.Halfway speaking,tears rolled down my cheeks.I felt so useless.And that was when my heart sanked.Darul's eyes.It was filled with tears.I knew deep down inside,how much i have hurt him.It was just that one sentence of truth that had to hurt my loved one feelings.In my eyes,Darul may seem to be those outside malay guys.Full tattoos on their bodies.Piercings here and there.But deep down in my heart,Darul was someone different.He was the one who light up my life.I couldn't bare to lose him.Or else,my life would be so empty and dull.Then,he grabbed my hand,and we went for a short walk.For that whole period of time,it was just SILENCE.After a few minutes,he then asked me to leave.I knew that i couldn't be forgiven.I just walked away,without saying anything.BUT.All i manage to say was
"Thanks for the memories".
And we went our separate ways.Yes,i was crying.But i had to made my way home.People were staring at me.I banged into people aimlessly.And deep down inside me,i was praying.
"Oh god.If a person like Darul couldn't forgive what i have done.Will you forgive what i've done?In fact,i myself,MYSELF,cannot even forgive for what i've done.This secret,will just remain with me,and only ME.I'm lost.I give up.Life is meaningless without Darul.He cheered me up when i was feeling down.He listened to me when i needed someone to talk to.When i needed a shoulder to lean on,he was there for me.And when i shed a tear,he was there to wipe away my tears.".
I will not forget the time when we sang together.The song:"Hate that I love you". It will always be remembered.Those sweet memories...*sigh*.
I have lost someone so special to me.But still,life has to go on.I can't possibly cling on to him.But i'll just wait for his return.He means the world to me.But all i can say is; 'IM SORRY'.
Nancy Roberts .