Last night , i decided to msg Dear .Because i realised , we can't go on this way arh .Like being so cold towards each other and stuff .
So , we msged for a few minutes . Then i was sleepy .
Before i went to sleep , i told him that we'll talk about 4.30 am .
These were the msgs last night , that i kept ;
" I hope you change , coz i'm afraid to lose you and i love you so much . "" I have never stop loving you . But all this while , i thought you are the one who stop loving me . "" If i don't love you or care for you , i wouldn't be angry or disappointed that you broke your promise . "I kept crying after i received those msgs from him ...All along , i guess i've misjudged him .How could i be so stupid ?I'm really such a fool .Haish .Then at 4 am , my father asked me if i want to follow to the airport to send off my Aunty . I said don't want . Damn sleepy lerrr .After they went , i asked Dear to call me .Because i was alone at home .He called me at 5 am .Haish , we didn't talk alot .Is either we both kept quiet like fools OR we would " quarrel " non-stop .He isn't the same anymore . Not sweet , Not loving , SO different when he talked to me . And he said that , i was the one who made him changed until like that . I was like , yah .. just blame me for everything . Then he kept calling me small kid . Like , making fun of me and stuff . " Then go find someone your own age lah ! " Nbcb .In his fs shoutout , he said that he regret being faithful to me . Because in his past , he isn't the faithful type . But after we got together , he told me he decided to change for me . So now what ?! He wants to be NOT faithful ??? Haish . There's nothing i can say OR do about it also .. Is his life what .. Yah .. who am i to him wad .. Haish .Went online at 5.30 am . Philip asked me why i was sad and all . So , i told him what happened , since he's my good friend . Then , he gave me a long talk about it and i felt much better .When i was talking on the phone wif Dear , i don't know why my tears kept rolling down . Especially when he gave me attitude and stuff . I cried alot . Yet , he didn't know . Haish .Me and Dear talked like for 2 hours . Then i was sleepy , so i told him that i want to go back to sleep . I told him i will msg him , but he said no need . I was like , fine . Then i asked him if he could go online around 12pm , he said he will try , coz he will be meeting his friend . I asked him , can't he go online for me ? , his answer was a straight NO . I was really sad with his answer uhs . Last time , he would say , he will do this and that , just for me , blah , blah , blah . But NOW ?! Haish , I've got nothing to say about him already .Well , sometimes i feel like giving up . I have thoughts of leaving him .Because , everything is my fault , i'm giving him so much trouble and all . But , i can't afford to lose him . My life will be NOTHING w/o him lah .. Haish !!!!Even now , my tears are rolling down my cheeks ..Gotta go get some fresh air .Mimi called me .Asked me to go down , lepak .Went to bathe .Changed , went down .Went to 7-11 to buy food & drink .Lepak .Msged Shidah to come down with the rest .Then she told us to wait coz they at town park wif Abg Yan .So me and mimi waited .Haish , kena disturb by Boboy & Dadi sia . Toture oi !!!Lols . Me and mimi just ignore uh .After a few minutes , they came .So we lepak at badminton court .I asked where was Zizi , they said she went PM wif Hidayu .Talk-talk ...Zizi came wif Hidayu .Then we all became noisy ..Nothing to do , we play wif the Ntuc trolley .Then got this one Aunty come , make so much noise about us , disturbing the trollies . Then Zizi said ; Shuddup lah , Busybody !Then the aunty heard , asked who was the one who said , she want to give 2 tight slap on the face . Then everyone just keep quiet . Haha . Then the aunty just mumble - mumble and walk away .Then , we all eat , talk-talk . Then Shidah bought the hair extention thingy . The coloured strands . Then she helped us put . Hahs . Damn style lah . But , sad luhs , no pink . Lol .Then Zizi asked to go hall .Reached the hall , damn noisy lah .Zizi kept dancing , and disturbing all of us .Then me and hidayu doing shuffle ..Zizi was really too much lah . she went around pulling our bras . Then mine like totally came out . Then went i was adjusting , she pulled down my shorts !! Then when Khairul saw , can see he like steam already sia . Then i slap his face . Haha !After , we all went to junction , buy drinks & food .WHile waiting , the hairdresser aunty asked me when i want to go her shop and do my hair again . I was like , soon uhs . Damn it luhs ! mY mother borrowed my money for her shares thingy . Gahhhs !I can't wait to have it back (:Then , shidah kept asking me to kope food . Lol . She was damn obvious until the uncle gave us one fucked up look and kept staring at us lah . Stoopid ... Hahas .After , went back to hall .CHilled awhile , then went back badminton court .Abg Yan & Abg Sky was playing soccer there .Then everyone started to join . Me and mimi just sit down and watch .Suddenly , got 1 police car come .Thought wad , in the end , went up our block and arrest 2 people . Lol !Went back to lepak .Fucker bitch shidah came down .Like sundal arh , come down only then like one fucking bitch .When she make noise , i kept saying shuddup . Then she totally kept quiet sia . Like attention-seeker arh ! Want to step say i pretty all .. Loser siak ...Abg Yan asked whether want to play rounders .I said i wont play if Shidah the bitch play .Then in the end , she never . I play also , not like playing . I just sit OR stand there . Lol .Abg Sky damn fucker lah .Make me no mood to carry on .Stop awhile coz got stupid people extra . Everyone got damn angry lah .Haha .Rest ....Then nothing much already uh .Went home .Had my dinner late .Dear asked me to call him .When we talked , he like okay alr :)We laughed , and all . Didn't quarelled :DI was really happy luhs .Damn tired !Wanna sleep .Rahhhs ! XP
Nancy Roberts .